Carol Wade Goode – In Remembrance

Romans 8:  31-39

“What then are we to say about these things?”

I will say that I’m honored to speak today of our friend, Carol Wade Goode.  I hope to speak for her many professional colleagues and friends here from the Winchester mental health community, expressing our condolences and compassion to her family; David, Heather & Matthew, Doris & Susan, and her beloved Isa.  As a professional, we had Carol in our midst for only about a decade and a half - just one rich slice of her life.  She went from our midst so quickly.  But long bouts of cancer are not known for their kindness, and this would have been Carol’s way.  We say thank you, God, for allowing her to be with us - what a wonderful soul she was. 

What then, are we to say?

We say that we’ll remember Carol’s compassion for people. Her razor sharp insight coupled with her quiet reticence made her the keen listener that she was.  She was accepting - you could be yourself with Carol.  One friend reflected that Carol “took the light in each person she met.” But that didn’t mean you didn’t get pushed when she thought you’d dithered enough.  When the offer came from David for someone from our practice to offer a brief eulogy here, I heard Carol say to me, “Oh, John, just do it.” 

We say that we will remember Carol’s amazing mix of beauty and humility.  Few people as beautiful as Carol manage to remain so humble, personable and warm.  She had a sense of style that always seemed to be with her.  When Heather and Nathan gave her a digital exercise bracelet, she made wearing it look elegant.  We saw it in her dress, her decorating, her high boots and her jewelry.  Even cheap jewelry she wore well.  And David, we know most of the jewelry was anything but cheap.  We will remember Carol’s persistent beauty.

We say that we’ll remember the way Carol moved.  That rapid, confident click, click, click walk of hers – that walk that said Carol had somewhere to go.  This same sense of purpose was reflected in her enthusiasm for exercise.  Whether it was kayaking or doing pushups or lifting kettle bells or trampolining with Isa, there was, in the words of the song, something in the way she moved.

We say that we’ll remember her curiosity, that childlike excitement when she learned something new and interesting.  She loved her books.  A friend asked her whether she kept Amazon in business, and I know David, who helped pay the bills, probably thought this was so.  She did love to share what she’d learned.

We say that we’ll remember Carol’s mix of quietness with her courage and bravery.  To start a bachelor’s degree in her 40s, surrounded by students half her age.  Then to jump right into a Masters degree.  We’ll remember her bravery in sitting with clients who were contemplating self-harm.  Or when she was called to testify in court for the first time.  Each time, she responded with a “I think I can do it.  I’m ready” sort of confidence. We will remember Carol as a brave woman.

We say that we’ll remember her wonderfully mischievous sense of humor.  Her laugh, that warm laugh that sent her back into her chair, that came from the very soul of who she was.  We will so remember and miss that laugh.

But most of all … We say that we’ll remember the genuine grace with which she carried herself.  In joyful times, in work times, in playful times, and in the most painful of times, Carol seemed always to carry herself with grace.  Her grace was natural and organic – it came as a relaxed and comfortable presence.  Whether sitting in her office chair or over a meal or resting with a book on the couch by her beloved fireplace, she exuded a grace and presence that all of us have, at one time or another, have been drawn to.  We will remember her grace.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things?”   We say “Thank you, God, for allowing us this time with Carol Wade Goode.  She has made this earth a more beautiful, more compassionate and more grace filled place to live.  May we carry a bit of her with us into tomorrow. 

John D. Lewis

February 7, 2015